I can always tell when I’m going into a slump. I’ll stop reading books, my emails will go ignored, maybe even my hair will go unwashed. Instead, I’ll spend a little more time playing games, too many hours watching mindless shows, and days thinking about writing instead of writing.
Lately, I’ve been in a slump. And hence the lack of regular posts. I have so, so many things I want to share, but instead of the beautiful fluid sentences in my mind, they come out in horribly fragmented bits and pieces on screen (so please excuse me if this post does not make sense).
This kind of slump always ties back to frustrations over a lack of purpose. Last time, putting all my efforts back into blogging helped. Not only did it fill the hours of my day, it made me feel like I was offering something important to the world. For the first time, I felt proud to show others my blog. I knew I spent an abnormal amount of time on it – time that surely could be more wisely spent, – but I felt justified in seeing my page views creep up (slowly) month after month. And so in turn, I spent even more time on it.
But the thing is, blogging is just my hobby. I don’t make any money from Slightly Astray. Basically, I’m not disciplined enough to learn about SEO or analytics or whatever, and too cheap to take courses or pay for sponsorships, so there you go.
I have very mixed emotions about this blog. It’s strange because this is one of the most important things to me, but at the same time, I know it’s completely unimportant and irrelevant.
I spend a ridiculous amount of time on this blog because I’m not sure what else it is that I could be doing. Blogging provides a distraction from real life. It gives me an excuse to seem busy (look! I work even harder than D!), to seem like that I’m doing horribly important work, and perhaps, most detrimental of all, to not actually look for paid jobs. When people ask what I do, I have something to show. It makes me look like I’m a productive, functioning human being, when in reality, it’s not contributing at all to our life.
Currently, our life is traveling. And while we’re unsure about what the future would bring, we know one thing for certain: we would really like to keep on traveling. So I need to start doing things that actually contribute to this future we envision.
So that brings me to: I have a new job! Well sort of. Not exactly.
The reason we’re even able to travel in the first place is because of D’s online retail business, which allows him to work remotely. However, because the US economy has been in the shitter for a while, business hasn’t been great, and well long story short, it’s no longer a reliable source of income. We need something else if we want to keep on keeping on.
So recently, D started a new business venture, because the best way to combat a struggling business is to start another, right (as he has already done three times over)? This new one is an online software-as-a-service business, which complements our lifestyle nicely. Unlike the other business, it requires no employees (as of yet) and the profit margins are crazy. It has been several months now and it’s been a slow but decent start, and we’re very hopeful about the growth!
So all this to say that for now, I’ve put this blog on the back burner in order to spend more time helping D with the new venture. It’s rather monotonous work and I don’t have anything to show for it, but the fact that this could be the start of our new future excites me. Most importantly, it gives me a new sense of purpose. It makes me feel like I’m finally working towards something great, that I’m helping to build our future.
As for this blog, don’t worry, it’s not going anywhere. I love that this blog serves as a digital scrapbook of our travels. I’m already kicking myself at how behind I am, so I will still try my best to write regular posts (even if it’s just weekly or mostly pictures). I’d love it if you stuck around. :)
Do you have a love/hate relationship with your blog too?
P.S. I’m on North to South this week as part of their traveling couples interview series talking all about our nomadic lifestyle and how we fund our travels, if you’re interested in knowing more!