There are times in blogging when I wish I didn’t share so much of my personal life. It’s certainly easier to only offer travel tips or restaurant reviews or city guides. But long-time readers will know that while I do write plenty of those on Slightly Astray, those are never my best pieces, and that instead it is the fact that I let you into my life that keeps you coming back.
From the very start, all I wanted to do was to connect with readers and other travelers on a more profound level and offer a completely transparent view into this strange business of long term travel. I’ve shared about hard times with family and talked about feeling of a loss of purpose. Those are not easy to share or admit, but I want to keep an honest reflection of my journey.
Which now brings me to what is the hardest thing I’ve had to share yet on this blog: my recent breakup with D.
Since the very beginning of this blog, D has been a major character (even if you didn’t see his face around here too often). He was the one who nudged us into this whole travel thing (without his dreams, I would surely still be sitting in my cubicle at work, wondering if this is all there is to life). And he was the one I spent the best two years of my life so far exploring and eating all around the world.
Those who have been following for the past some months will know that D and I have spent a large chunk of time apart recently, including the long stint last summer. I guess the more and more time we spent apart, the easier and easier it got until we realized maybe we were happier being on our own.
And so when we finally got together again, it was only to once again say goodbye and part ways. This time for good.
We’ve always been very different and from the beginning, it’s been a source of disagreements, but I still wanted to believe that loving each other will conquer all. But now, it’s come to the point that these differences can no longer be ignored if we want to think about the future. It’s kind of crazy how two people can grow apart despite being together practically every minute of the day.
I guess in our case, travel didn’t bring us closer, and I’m learning that that’s okay. This journey – this giving up life back in the States to wander around the world thing – has always been about pursuing happiness first and foremost, and now in an unexpected turn of events, breaking up is the thing that will allow me to keep on doing that.
So though some days I wake up feeling alone and scared that I will need to figure out life solo now, I’m also looking towards the hazy unknown future with excitement. Because now the possibilities are truly limitless.
What this means for me
The short answer: I’m not entirely sure.
In one teary conversation, I’m left standing back at ground zero and the future I have envisioned no longer belongs to me. But I am glad to have gotten this long introduction to travel and I’m grateful for getting some solo experience, because now I know I can take care of myself on the road.
That said, I’m definitely not as financially fluid now so I’m not sure how much actual nomadic traveling I will be doing anymore. However, one thing I am absolutely sure about is that I’m going to try my darn hardest to make it out here. Going home is NOT an option I’m entertaining at the moment.
So for now, I’m staying in Kuala Lumpur until I can figure my next steps. It’s affordable and I’m falling in love with the city. My plan right now is to sustain myself through freelancing work, and after I’ve built up a solid base, I’ll see where my heart takes me. :)
What this means for the blog
For the most part, probably not too much, but unfortunately, I have to start looking at things a little differently.
As much as it pains me to not be putting out regular posts, I know I will have to devote more time to freelancing (as that is what’s going to keep me on the road). I will still try to post on here as often as possible, and I still want to write about my travels (I’m positive there will be more in my future!) and share developments in my life, but I know it won’t be easy.
In any case, I hope no matter what direction I and my blog take, you’ll continue to support me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all for coming along on the journey! x